were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize