Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
