I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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