she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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