oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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