Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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