I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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