Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
