I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
