hotel room ftw
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
