what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
