id be glad to
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
