he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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