No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
