Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
