Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
