i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
