Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
