Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
