finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
