You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
