I am puke
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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