Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
