he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
