a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
