please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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