Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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