Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im part way to drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
