...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
