You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
