He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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