Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
