And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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