i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
