I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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