SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
