i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
