I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
