He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
