Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Everything about him screamed your future.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
