I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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