My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
