this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
