Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
