we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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