weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
