she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
