i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
