I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The air was thick with penises
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize