First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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