you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
