Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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