She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
be right there i have to get my cape
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
